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---
layout: post
title: A feel of deep change
tags:
- Personal improvement
status: publish
type: post
published: true
meta:
_edit_last: '1'
---
This is a set of thoughts on how I am feeling inside and an attempt to let go / acknowledge some of these thoughts.
From the day I joined a company based on Microsoft, my technological values grew and became rock solid. But I'm feeling sort of a whirlwind deep inside the social, emotional and psychological values as well.
<!--more-->I see my country falling apart because of all the speculation on oil fuel. I see a blind society that doesn't want to evolve and reacts harshly over technological evolution and over change. I see the government spending a lot, I see the people rioting for everything, I see heavy taxes, I see professional disappointment and I see myself in a reckless anxiety, fearing for my professional success and my happiness. <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">I don't want to live in Portugal because I strongly feel I wouldn't be happy here. I want a place where I can live without such feelings of fear, no reliability and lack of vision.</span>
I need a place to express my joy for life, work, friends, love and most of all, freedom. I need a place where I can grow as a designer and as a developer. I need scones. I need my own home, my own salary.
I am changing inside. I am becoming a whole different person; a person who needs to be independent and have his own story to tell. I am feeling a different energy. After all, I'm becoming an adult at full speed and I'm having a different kind of needs from the ones I had when a teenager. Yet, my strongest desire is to be free and tremendously happy and make other people feel free and happy as well.
I feel better already :)
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